

never knowI.never know
the words, they overtake me grief is never all-consuming; i've yet to lose this habit of boxing and wrapping my sorrows, packaging them into tiny little poems - the rest of me goes crazy though.
II.
i am acutely aware of how blotchy my face becomes.
III.
i want to let go. it never happens, or at least, never lasts.
i want to let go and i want


seventeenageseventeen
is what allows me
to pay only a dollar fifty
for the bus;
what keeps me
from going out and dancing;
creates an excuse
for me to dance all night long
in the bedroom next to mine
with a boy who isn't the one i'm with
dance, dance, my body next to his
against it, feeling the effects
of the drink i had earlier and
the pushing and pulling
and always the spinning of the room.
the spinning of my head as he touches my skin
and god it's nice t
chalice

breathe.oh, someone sedate me. this is all too much when i half want to call and apologize and half want to avoid you for tonight and entirely want to throw myself into your arms and not come out from the safety of your chest [that cavity, where i can smell your skin and hear your heartbeat when i breathe you in-] until all this has passed. &nbbreathe.


tell me.so give me a way to describe this, my love. the way our bodies fit in matching curves, the way my fingers clutch and scrape your back, the way your touch, your smile steals all reason.tell me.
give me a way to describe the feeling i get- the frustration of suddenly having so much emotion, with the words i depend so heavily upon
stolen, like my breath, when our souls touch on the tips of tounges.
it's unfair, and yet so beautiful. to have everything i need before me and no way to define it in the longing, carefully-crafted language i've alway
--
_______ _ ________ _ ________
We do not toil by nonsense. we are engaged in her professionally!
--
Leave me alone, I'm dreaming.
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